Not Yet
by Rena-chan121958
Summary: Tamaki is returning from France, the host club doesn't even know why he left. When they meet up again, they find out they had nothing to worry about...or do they? Kyouya sees things that the others haven't but does that mean he can get the ever happy blonde to tell him what actually happened? ratings may go up, I don't know if I will continue with this or not. plz enjoy though.
1. Chapter 1: Not yet

_Okay hi readers, this is an OHHC fic and no I don't own it, if I did then it would be way different and I wouldn't be writing fanfictions about it...um what else Oh! So right now this is a one-shot type thing and I really don't know if I am going to continue with it. I am asking people to review on this one because I don't know if I should continue it or just leave it as it is, if you want me to continue then please say something. As always I do except criticism and all that glorious stuff because i do like knowing how I can better my writing. Lets see, uh I don't think there is anything else I am going to say except that if I do continue it I suppose I will make it a KyoXTama pairing and there might be more and I suppose you can count this as a KyoXTama pairing right now if you want to but you don't have to. It's based off the anime in most parts not the manga even though I like the manga better. There are some things that are from the manga though that aren't in the anime (first season of course) and they are pretty obvious. Okay unlike my other fics there is only one anime/manga set in this so it's purely OHHC unlike...well all of my other fics that have at least...idk 10 different animes/mangas in them. So anyway please enjoy and if you have an opinion on it, leave a review and what not. Thanks as always -Rena-chan. _

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Not Yet

Kyouya kept a stern eye on the host club members. It was his job after all as the vice president or so he saw it that way. It was a way to impress other people, namely the fathers of his fans, by keeping everything in order that the head of the host club imagined for them to do. He made sure everything worked out and that nothing happened that wasn't according to the plan. Of course that job can be tricky when the host club president springs things on everyone at the last second possible. Suoh Tamaki, said president, was the largest airhead the Kyouya had ever met in his life and he had the chance of meeting a fair amount in his relatively active life. Keeping that boy, because there was no way Kyouya would soon if ever be calling him a man, under control was almost impossible. The other members he could deal with but Tamaki was just over the top stupid. "So what do you think Kyouya?" Hikaru asked tilting his head to the side along with his twin Kaoru. He had just proposed the idea of going to see their king, who was going to be at the airport soon, come home to Japan again.

"I suppose that is a reasonable idea, of course we would have to leave right now if we wanted to make it there on time." The shadow king replied closing the black notebook in his lap. The twins nodded and rushed off to pester Haruhi and the other two members, Honey and Mori, about leaving. Tamaki had rushed off to France for a while for reasons unknown to the host club but Kyouya doubted they were good reasons like Renge and the twins had dreamed up while he was away.

"Kyouya-senpai, I think we are ready to go." Kaoru announced, before Kyouya got up from his chair and nodded to them.

"I wonder if he brought back presents!" Honey thought aloud as he sat on Mori's shoulders before they walked down to the parking lot where they would be picked up from the school grounds. School had ended already but the host club had special permission to be on the grounds after hours so they could plan their next events after school.

"We don't even know why he left though, that's kind of worrying." Haruhi mumbled mostly to herself.

"I hope he's not being engaged to that Tonare girl again, that was hell to deal with." Hikaru grumbled making everyone else pause for a second.

"I doubt he would do that again, his grandmother doesn't have any power over the family anymore remember? Even if she wanted him to it's not like he would have said yes because he has no reason to. He can go to France as he pleases now and his mother is well enough to come to Japan on her own last I heard." Kyouya assured the others after feeling his own chest tighten at the possibility.

"It's not as though he even liked Eclare to begin with anyway, she was a meanie." Honey added in just to lift everyone out of the sudden depressing idea that the words "engagement" and "Eclare" brought upon everyone.

"I suppose we'll soon find out." Haruhi tried sounding as though it didn't bother her but she was having doubts either way.

By the time the car rolled into the airport parking lot, the host club was silent and deep in thought on why Tamaki actually

left them in the first place. The little discussion they had showed them that none of them had gotten any information on

the king was leaving, just that he was leaving and would be back on this day. "Tama-chan was only gone for a few weeks, that's not long enough for really anything to happen right? Did he just go because he wanted to?" Honey asked, careful in what he was saying since it seemed that Kyouya would snap soon by the dark aura he was emitting in the car.

"Lets hope not for our sake." Haruhi replied making it clear the discussion should end there before anything happened to them.

"Well this surely has turned from a joyous event into a scary and depressing one." Hikaru pointed out to his twin as everyone else got out of the car and headed into the airport where they would meet Tamaki.

"Tell me about it." Kaoru replied getting out of the car to follow the others for the moment of truth.

"So do you know where exactly Tamaki will be coming from?" Haruhi asked looking at Kyouya, because he was the most reliable one for things like this, for an answer.

"Over there!" Honey replied pointing in what looked like a random direction to the other host club members.

"How do you know that Honey-senpai?" Haruhi asked turning to the pint-sized host. Honey just pointed in the same direction. Haruhi and the others turned and made different sounds of realization as they saw cameras flashing and heard girls swooning for who could only be Tamaki.

"That's how Haru-chan." Honey replied scampering in the direction of the swooning ladies and flashing lights with a large smile on his face.

"If I didn't know Honey-senpai personally, I would swear to god he was Tono's little brother." Kaoru said as the rest of the host club followed at a less than excited pace.

"Tama-chan!" They heard Honey squeal from further up ahead as they made their way through the crowds of people.

"This crowd is never ending!" Haruhi growled trying not to get squished in between all the people around her.

"That's what happens when boss is on the loose." Hikaru pointed out as he tried to keep sight of the smaller blonde boy that was, somehow, making it through everyone with ease.

"So tell me, why didn't we just wait until Tamaki-senpai came out of the crowd instead of trying to walk through it?" Haruhi asked in annoyance.

"Because knowing Tamaki, he never would have come out." Kyouya replied just before he crashed into someone, or rather said person went flying into him, and nearly lost his balance.

"Kouyaaa!" Came the squeal that couldn't have been anyone but Tamaki cried out burying himself into the other's clothing as though he hadn't seen him in a century.

"Welcome home Tamaki." Kyouya replied not bothering even trying to get the mess of a blonde off of him aside from the uncomfortability of the position, Kyouya found he didn't terribly mind it that much.

After fighting their way through the crowds of people and finally getting out of the airport all the host club members were at least a little out of breath. "Lets never repeat that again. I feel like I've been stepped on by an elephant!" Kaoru whined sitting down on a bench.

"I agree, that

unpleasant, next time I'm taking a

plane that doesn't land in a public airport." Tamaki agreed slumped against a wall running his hand through his golden hair and yawning. It seemed like it had been forever since they saw their king but he seemed a little off from how he normally acted.

"So how was France?" Honey asked as Tamki tiredly dragged his large suitcase to the car.

"It's changed a little but not much and I got to see a lot of old friends again so over all I think it was a good trip. Of course there were some downsides to it but I had a lot of fun with everyone." Tamaki replied as a butler shoved the suitcase, with trouble, into the back of the car and then opened the door for Tamaki and his friends.

"Senpai," Haruhi began effectively getting the kings attention after everyone was in the car. "Why did you go to France in the first place?" She asked trying to cover the worry in her voice.

"Oh that right I suppose I forgot to tell you all why I was going didn't I," Tamaki chuckled with a smile on his face making the others fell a little better that he wasn't suddenly somber, because they learned that always meant bad news for everyone, but happy and smiling as usual. "Well the main reason I went is because it was my mother's birthday and so I wanted to be there for that, also it was because I wanted to see what France was like now since I haven't been there in a while. I didn't really expect to be doing much or seeing a lot of people, but that didn't seem to be what fate had in mind because I ran into a ton of people on the way to my mother's, one of those people being Tonare and her new fiance from america named Grant. So thank the heavens I don't have to worry about ever being in her way again although I was still invited to her wedding." Tamaki replied making everyone else sigh in relief internally. Kyouya picked out that there was something big Tamaki was leaving out of the story and he doubted that Tamaki had as good of a time as he made out to have had despite what the king was saying.

"I see well that's good, we are glad you're back home in Japan though." Haruhi smiled back at him and Tamaki nodded.

"Yes, although I love France very much and it was nice to not have to think about if my history was correct I like the difference between France and Japan. For instance how you can talk to someone and be more than two inches away from each others face." Tamaki laughed.

'Just don't leave and not come back Tamaki, as long as you always come back to Japan you're welcome to go to France as much as you want.' Haruhi thought as she listened in on the rest of the story of Tamaki's encounters and stories of what happened on his trip. It was eventful apparently but looking at Kyouya Haruhi felt something amis with the behaviour of the king. She just couldn't place it.

"Also, I don't think I will be going back for a while. The time difference from here and Japan is terribly hard to get used to as I found out." The blonde said leaning on Kyouya.

After the short car ride from the airport to the main estate, Tamaki still decided to live there but the staff of the second house had been invited to work there to make it feel like the second estate, a few maids pulled Tamaki's luggage out of the car and wheeled it into the house. "We don't have school tomorrow right?" Tamaki asked rubbing his eye a little clearly still on the European time schedule.

"That's right, it's friday after all so do try and rest up. However we are planning on having a meeting on sunday evening about possible upcoming events for the host club so it would be ideal for you to be there." Kyouya replied hardly looking at Tamaki as he took the other's coat because the blonde had struggled out of the thing in the car.

"Alright, I should be there, what time and whose place?" Said blonde asked numbly walking through the doors of the estate with Kyouya right behind him.

"Time we decided would be at noon and we haven't decided on where yet, have any ideas?" the shadow king asked expecting it to be at some large gathering place.

"Sure, we can do it here. The staff know you guys and grandmother is going on vacation with my father to France this coming week and they will be leaving in about 3 hours I think so I have the house to myself not counting the staff and the dogs." The blonde replied with a shrug looking at Kyouya but obviously not seeing the shadow king.

"Well then we'll see you here at noon boss, welcome home and we're gonna hit the road because we have to be home for dinner." Hikaru said waving to Tamaki as they made their way outside and headed home.

"I should get going too, I don't want my father making a ruckus after you just got back home. See you soon Tamaki-senpai, Kyouya-senpai, Mori-senpai and Honey-senpai!" Haruhi bowed rushing out the door and pulling her phone from her pocket in the process.

"Someone has got to get her a new phone for gods sake." Tamaki said after the girl had left.

"We can work on that Tama-chan, but I need to go home too because Chika wants to practice tonight." Honey said before Mori set the other on his shoulder and nodded to the other two hosts as they walked out.

"What was the real reason you went to France Tamaki? I know it wasn't your mother's birthday because that's not for another month." Kyouya said turning to the king after the door had shut behind the others. It was then that Kyouya noticed that Tamaki was curled on the couch with his head on his knees. "Tama?" Kyouya asked sitting on the could by his friend, the nickname went unnoticed by both teens, and placed a hand on the other's shaking shoulder. Kyouya pulled Tamaki closer to him, the king was now practically on the other's lap, and held him tightly running through all the possibilities of what could have happened on his friend's trip to make him so distressed. There were footsteps coming down the stairs and Tamaki shot up from the couch, and Kyouya, to face his father and grandmother.

"We will see you in a few weeks time my son, do well in school and have a fun time while we're back in the country of love." Tamaki's father said giving Tamaki a hug.

"When we come back, I expect you to have learned the few new pieces that are laying on the piano upstairs understood?" His grandmother asked with an almost stern look. She looked so aged now and softer hearted than before.

"Of course grandmother, father, have a wonderful time and we all await your return." Tamaki replied with his own smile as they left. Then Tamaki started rushing up the stairs with Kyouya hot on his heels before the raven haired king watched the blonde crumple to the ground once more in his room.

Kyouya, again, pulled Tamaki to him and sat against Tamaki's bed on the floor with the other in his arms. Still puzzled at what was going on, Kyouya's mind didn't stop reeling at the thought of his friend being in so much pain and sorrow yet covering it up so easily when anyone else was in the room. "K-Kyo-ya," Tamaki stuttered through sobs that had developed a sound loud enough for Kyouya to hear.

"What is it Tama, tell me." The other whispered, it seemed that even though he despised being the "mother" of the host club as Tamaki often called him Kyouya could calm down the other just as a mother would do to a wailing child.

"Pl-please, stay wi-th m-me." Tamaki choked out in the midst of his tears. If Kyouya hadn't been surprised before he was utterly stunned now. Realizing that with his grandmother and father gone, Tamaki didn't have anyone to lean on right now with his watering eyes and almost silent sobbing made Kyouya pull out his phone and quickly text his sister saying that he would be over at Tamaki's for the night and possibly more since the kid would be home alone and not really supervised. Of course everything was okay from the other end of the line so Kyouya put his phone on the table after turning it off and put his full focus on the other host.

"Of course I will stay Tama, I'll always stay with you when you need me." The words and tone were uncharacteristic for Kyouya but he felt like that was what Tamaki needed to hear right now. "Come on lets get you cleaned up a little." Kyouya said picking up the king in a bridal hold and taking th shortest route to Tamaki's bathroom. 'This is going to be a long night, and technically the night hasn't even started.' Kyouya thought looking at the time on his watch that read 8 PM. He ran water in Tamaki's bath and started slipping the cloths off the other before he abruptly stopped. Tamaki held his arms to his chest but Kyouya grabbed one of them and pulled it back to inspect the horizontal slashes on the skin there. He didn't say anything but looked at Tamaki via the mirror. The other didn't raise to meet his gaze, which was expected, and simply tried to curl into himself more.

"I-I." Tamaki began but Kyouya stopped him from speaking but nearly crushing him.

"Don't speak Tama, just tell me when you're ready. You can take as long as you want as long as you tell me eventually." Kyouya replied helping Tamaki with the rest of his shirt and pants. Having to hold in a growl at how many bruises he saw on the other's flawless hybrid skin. Tamaki got into the bath and sunk down until only his head was above the water. Kyouya sat on the edge of the large tub and watched to make sure the other didn't drown while he was in there. Kyouya wasn't exactly sure as to why he even ran a bath because Tamaki was just sitting there and not budging. 'I suppose this will at least get some of him somewhat clean right?' Kyouya asked himself not really caring to put much effort into finding an answer to the question. So they both sat there, watching. Not each other completely but not letting themselves wander off so much in thought to where the other escaped their senses, just watching and waiting to see who would make the first move or would neither of them? Not yet would Tamaki speak, not yet would Kyouya pry, not yet would either of them move. Eventually they would, but not yet.


	2. Chapter 2: Dream

Hey readers sorry this is like really late! Please forgive me but I didn't really expect anyone to want a second chapter so I actually had to use my brain to think...not my strong suit. Anyway here is chapter two! I know it's short but bear with me I'm planing on making a third chapter _if _people like it. Also quick note the translations for the French will be at the bottom of the chapter. Anyway, on with chapter two! Rena-chan~

The next morning came too quickly for Tamaki, reality struck him hard as the memories of last night came flooding back into his mind. Kyouya knew of his habit, no doubt he wanted answers to why. 'But can I give him those answers?' The blonde asked himself as he looked at the sleeping form next to him. The night had been rough for both of them he remembered. After his ''bath" the two of them had headed to Tamaki's room, they didn't really plan on sleeping yet because it was still only 8:30, in effort to kill the thick silence Tamaki had asked about what was going on in the host club since he left for France.

"Everything has been going normally, we have pulled off a few events here and there and Haruhi is getting more involved than before. I would even say she is enjoying herself more." Kyouya told him as they sat side by side on the floor.

"That's good, I hope you enjoyed yourself a little too. Watching over the host club all the time isn't a cake walk after all." Tamaki smiled but it never reached his eyes like before.

"It needs to be done though, who else would do it if I didn't?" Kyouya asked looking up at ceiling and not noticing the frown that had formed on Tamaki's lips. He did, however, hear the laugh that the other emitted if you could even call it a laugh. It sounded strained and forced to Kyouya and the older male had no doubt that it was just as forced as it sounded.

"I suppose you're right, I couldn't do it, the twins wouldn't, Haruhi has enough things to deal with, Honey-senpai is...well Honey-senpai and Mori-senpai is too hard to read. Plus his eyes are only ever truly focused on Honey, have you noticed that? Those two think about the things going on around them, but they are more focused on the well being of each other than anything else." Tamaki chuckled.

"They care a lot for each other and look out for each other, logically you always are thinking about who you care about right?" Tamaki paused in his thinking and looked up at Kyouya. His eyes had darkened but they didn't move from Kyouya until a few minutes had passed.

"I suppose you're right, as usual, I suggest we get to bed now. We wouldn't want to sleep our saturday away after all." He eventually replied and stood from where they were sitting with almost too much haste. Kyouya watched him walk to the other side of the bed and pull back the covers. There was almost a look of regret in his eyes as he climbed in and curled himself a little.

"Right." Kyouya said with concern getting up and turning off the light to the room before he too climbed into the covers and set his glasses on the side table.

Unfortunately for the both of them, that's where the peace had ended. Around 2:30 AM, Kyouya was roughly woken from his slumber to the other participant of the bed thrashing around. Sitting up and turning the desk lap on so he could see what was going on, Kyouya had to hold in a gasp at the sight before him. Tamaki was clearly having a nightmare that he could not wake himself up from. He tried to calm the other down while avoiding the flailing arms. As soon as he could, Kyouya pinned one of the arms down which only caused Tamaki to struggle even harder to get out of his grasp. "Tamaki! Tamaki wake up it's a dream!" Kouya spoke loudly in effort to rouse his friend. It proved to do little as Tamaki kept trying harder to pull away from the other instead.

"Dieu ne vous ai pas fait assez pour moi encore? Que dois-je souffrir avant que vous etes satisfait?" Tamaki asked in a shaking and small voice, through his obvious terror. Kyouya stopped for a few moments, letting the other's arm reseed to clutching the sheets beside its owner. Because he had known the flamboyant boy for so long, Kyouya had often been taught bits of French at random. He then became interested in knowing what exactly his king was talking about when he went off on his French speaking rambles, now he was glad he had been learning the other language even if he couldn't understand all of what the other asked yet. Right now, anything helped.

"Come on Tamaki, wake up, it's not real!" Kyouya screamed finally able to jolt Tamaki out of his nightmarish state.

"K-Kyouya? Where are we?" Tamaki asked in the most broken voice Kyouya had ever heard.

Both Kyouya and Tamaki snapped out of their thoughts on last night when there was an abnormally loud bark sounding from the other side of the door. Tamaki got up and opened the door to see his beloved dog sitting there helplessly with her empty bowl. "Ah! Gomen! I forgot to wake up and feed you didn't I? How cruel of an owner am I?!" Tamaki freaked before going and getting his dog her food from the kitchen. Kyouya shook his head, that was still swimming with questions from last night, and put his glasses on before he decided to get dressed and head downstairs.

"Tamaki-sama, breakfast has been made and is at the table. Kyouya-sama, it's a pleasure to see you this morning." Shima said as the woman saw the two come downstairs. Tamaki was still in nothing but pajama pants and Kyouya was dressed respectively as usual. 'I have no idea how Kyouya-sama can deal with someone like him and not go insane. I'm positive the rest of us already have because of how much we love the young master...but Kyouya-sama is so formal...it doesn't make sense.' She thought as the more animated one bounced down the stairs with bliss and the other walked down careful of his every step it seemed.

"Thank you Shima-san for the notification and as always it's a pleasure to see you as well." Kyouya replied with a generous smile. Shima nodded before walking off to get the other maids back to work. Tamaki frolicked into the large dining room, with Kyouya walking behind him, to see the large breakfast displayed in front of him.

"Ah isn't it wonderful mommy? This breakfast is gorgeous!" He exclaimed in excitement. Kyouya looked at him closely, noticing he kept his eyes shut more this time as he talked. Kyouya knew Tamaki didn't like to close his eyes, he didn't like the feeling of the darkness. Tamaki loved the light, the stage, the attention so he kept his eyes searching for it.

'Why is he hiding from all of it now?' Kyouya wondered as he sighed aloud. "Yes Tamaki, the breakfast is extravagant." He replied sitting down and starting to serve himself. He swore he saw Tamaki sulk from the corner of his eye but it was gone with a flash and Tamaki was beside him quickly serving himself as well. Kyouya raised an eyebrow but said nothing as he started eating and was brought tea on a platter by one of the maids.

Thanks for reading this, as said before if you like it please leave reviews so I know if I should contnue it or not.

Translations: Dieu ne vous ai pas fait assez pour moi encore? Que dois-je souffrir avant que vous etes satisfait?

Roughly translated as: God you have not done enough for me yet? What should I suffer until you are satisfied?

Thanks again and sorry for it being so short and late! ~Rena-chan


	3. Chapter 3: Friend

Hello and sorry I haven't updated in a long time, so this is the third chapter of Not Yet and it's pretty short. I apologize because I haven't been working on this like at all during the entire month of Nivember because I was doing Nanowrimo. Anyway so I'm back to working on this one again and I hope everyone enjoys it like they did the other two. Reviews are always nice because I do like knowing that people read this and I'm not just posting for the sake of posting. So I'll shut up so everyone can read now! ~ Rena-chan

Chapter 3: Friend

When breakfast had ended the two kings headed back upstairs, it was time Kyouya got some answers from Tamaki to his questions and he was prepared to have to fight to get them. There was a possibility of hurting the other, or pushing him away but Kyouya banished those thoughts to the back of his mind; helping Tamaki was all he could afford to think about right now. "Tamaki, we need to talk." He voiced as they reached the top of the stairs, he saw the blonde freeze momentarily before near violet hues were turned on him. Kyouya could tell this was going to take all day by the look in Tamaki's eyes. 'Might as well call nee-san and tell her I'm not coming back tonight either.' He thought but that was soon pushed away by a soft voice asking him a question.

"What do we need to talk about Kyouya?" He asked trying to forget the reason Kyouya was even still at his house. He didn't want this talk to happen, but he knew the other was set on making it happen regardless of his pleads.

"I believe you are well aware on what the topic is going to be." Kyouya replied taking Tamaki's hand in his for fear the blonde would run from him. This wouldn't have been the first time he was in this situation with Tamaki and he wasn't going to let it end with Tamaki running away again. "Tamaki I want to help you, but I can't if you don't tell me what happened. I want to know everything that happened on your trip, and the real reason you left in the first place." He added moments later when he felt the blonde start pulling away. Kyouya knew he was backing his friend into a corner, but in his years of knowing him, blocking off all possible escape routes was the only way to get Tamaki to speak the entire truth about something painful to him. Hearing the maids downstairs reminded Kyouya of where they were standing. "Lets take this to your room." He advised pulling the now nervous and abnormally silent boy behind his bedroom doors.

"Kyouya mon ami, I can't. I-I'm sorry but I can't talk to you. If I did t-then, I don't know what would happen." Tamaki whispered as tears started spilling out of his eyes. (A/N: mon ami - roughly translated to: my friend) Kyouya stared at him, yes it was normal for Tamaki to dramatically cry but this was the second time he had witnessed his friend cry tears of true pain in less than forty eight hours.

"I can't sit here and watch you like this Tamaki, it's okay for you to be upset, to cry and feel depressed however, it's not okay to break down and then carry on as though nothing happened. You're hurt, physically and mentally, you can't change whatever happened but you can get help. The others don't have to know about anything if you don't want them too, it can be just the two of us." He replied trying to keep his resolve, it was hard to say no to someone who already looked so rejected and hurt especially Tamaki who could outshine the sun it seemed.

"Kyouya please don't make me talk! I can't do it, I can't get you involved!" Tamaki cried sinking to the floor and hugging his knees with his head bowed. Kyouya could only look at him in sympathy. Whatever had happened to Tamaki had a hold of him even after he left the country, this wasn't going to be easily overcome and Kyouya could see that now. He mentally hit himself for trying to push the other, Tamaki was someone who needed to feel as though there was a safety net around him before he did anything. That safety net had been destroyed in France and now it was up to Kyouya to become that safety net or he wouldn't be going anywhere.

"I'm sorry Tamaki, I won't make you talk. Just tell me what you need, I'm here for you as always." He said sitting on the floor next to his broken ray of sunlight, stroking soft locks of golden hair, Kyouya was able to calm the other down after an hour or so. He dried his tears on a tissue before helping the other stand on his feet again. It would be a long process but Kyouya would get his king back on the throne. Now he just had to figure out where to start. 

Yep so like I said really short and for future reference whenever I write something not in english I'll be writing the translation right after it for convienency and all.


	4. Chapter 4: Wishes Upon Pain

Woah you're updating again in less than a month?! Yeah I knojw miracle, but as I said the other chapter was short as hell. Okay so miled **warning** on this chapter, it has some pretty dark themed stuff involved that will (if you so choose) read in a flashback. That being said, if you don't read it well I mean you get to know what happens becuase it will be told again just not in as much detail but it makes the chapter really short for you and personally I think you're missing out of you don't read it. Along with that I mean this story is kind of an enter at your own risk type thing, if you've read any of my other stories posted on here you would have noticed I kind of have a thing about dark themed stuff. So anyway I'll shut up and you can read! ~Rena-chan

Chapter 4: Wishes Upon Pain

The morning passed without anymore tears, and Kyouya was grateful for that but it was starting to worry him as well. Tamaki was being entirely silent and avoiding anyone he could. Kyouya started to worry that the boy wouldn't talk to him at all, or anyone else for that matter. He moved like a ghost, be there at one moment and then gone the second after. Tamaki was quieter than he ever had been in his life and it was more irritating to the dark haired male than when he was being loud and dramatic. 'Damn this is annoying, I know he said he wouldn't speak but this is ridiculous!' He thought as he saw the blonde move towards the piano in his music room.

"Kyouya, if you could have any dream in the world come true what would it be?" He asked looking out the window off into the distance. Kyouya thought in silence, over what Tamaki would be hinting at with the question.

"I suppose I would wish that the host club wouldn't be in debt at all the money that is coming in would be distributed fairly to different sections. As well as-" He started but was cut off when Tamaki turned to glare at him.

"Kyouya that is the lowest thing I've heard, I'm not talking about riches, and wealth, and the flourishing of a company or business. What about the aspect of family, welfare of others and even a break from everything? What about those things?" He asked as he turned back around and gingerly putting a hand against the glass. "The importance of being together, caring for one another and helping those who need it. I wish everyone would be able to see that ideal to some extent no matter how big or small it gets in the end." He added with a downcast gaze as his hair covered lightened eyes.

'Where are you going with this Tamaki?' Kyouya asked himself trying to figure his friend out. "Of course those things are important as well, many of us seek to find the same ideals." He replied watching thee other.

'Of course, Kyouya would understand, he lost his mother. He must have longing at times for her, he just doesn't open up to anyone. My story is so twisted, everything is messed up. What is the reality of my situation exactly?' Tamaki questioned to the horizon. "I suppose, so. In France, everything was so different then when I was there last." The blonde said turning to face the other but looking over at the piano. Kyouya's eyes widened minimally, would Tamaki actually tell him without any prompting at all?

"Different how so?" He asked gently but clearly as he watched the sad smile form on pale lips.

"You've probably figured it out already but the main reason I went to France is because it was my mother's funeral. I regret not saying more to her now, not doing more things for her and I regret not being able to be there at her final moments. I was on the phone with her when she died, but that's nothing like being there in person for her." Tamaki whispered as though he was speaking to a sleeping baby. Despite him being the ever so stoic shadow king, Kyouya's eyes widened at what he heard.

'How did he play that off in school, his hurt that has been so evident didn't even show fractionally in the days before he left. The funeral explains one thing, but what about the bruises, the abuse and possible self mutilation?' He thought not being able to say anything as the two of them stood there in silence. Kyouya knew it would be stupid to try and press for details now, he was slowly getting answers to things and that was going to be how the process was. If he rushed it then it would hurt Tamaki more and he wouldn't risk harming the already too pained boy. They stood in utter silence, as they had the entire day, one in shock and one in mixed emotions of depression and longing. The only sounds was the occasional maid walking to their places of duty and the clock that ticked on the wall. Everything else seemed to have been moving, but the two kings stood frozen in time.

The silence seemed to have dragged on for hours, when really it was minutes, and then suddenly everything started moving again. Kyouya's mind worked hard to find answers without asking the other occupant in the room, he was thinking miles per second on what all was revolving around this. Tamaki felt sick, he didn't like the silence; the room was so quiet it was defining. The world around him spun into a mix of colors and shapes that he couldn't keep straight, it was as though time really had froze and now had to catch up. He found himself being thrown back into his visit to France, the entire trip played in front if him like a sped up movie. 'Why, why is everything coming back now?' He asked his mind trying to shield himself from what he only could see and knew. Backed into a corner, Tamaki only felt himself falling into a darkness as the movie continued and the screams echoed in his mind. His own screams, the screams of those around him, the cold dry laughter and harming crude smiles. Cracking of whips and jangling of chains, the feeling of the cold cement floor as he was pushed down into it. Every cry was ignored, every plea he was punished for, every wrong word meant harsher treatment and every wrong move led to bloodshed.

_"What's wrong Tamaki? Are you scared of us now? What happened to that trust and friendship we shared huh?" Laughter, an unrecognized voice, a long forgotten friend. Tamaki didn't know what to say, he couldn't say anything for the hand gripping and clenching his throat was keeping him silent. _

_'I suppose everyone did say I always talked too much, or was too loud and obnoxious. Now they don't have to hear me at all.' He thought wondering if his friends in Japan could see him now, what would they think? What would they do? Would they turn him away as well? _

_"You don't seem happy to see any of us now, your pretty face has been cut oh what shall we do? Poor prince Tamaki here will probably die since his face has been marked, such a shame." Another voice rang full of scorn and hate. Everything was about hate, nothing about love, no compassion, no help, just hate, fear, abandonment. _

_"I still think he has good looks, I mean he didn't steal every girl in France for being ugly for sure. However, no one knows you're an illegitimate do they? You're a damned half, you can't belong in one place or the other can you? Say we mark up this ever so flawless skin of yours a little, I promise it will be rougher than you will ever believe it to be." The first voice sounded again, then hands, arms, and other body parts started touching, feeling and marking the skin that was always so clean. A cloth covered near violet orbs, the feeling of his clothing being torn and skin being scratched, his arms were stretched above him and ropes kept him bound. _

_"Se il vous plaît arrête, je vais vous donner ce que vous voulez vous plaît arrêter juste!"_ **(A/N: translation for above sentence - Please stop, I'll give you whatever you want please just stop!)** _His weak and dry voice pleaded, a whip to his back, chains cracked on his legs for the plea. _

_"Don't you get it mon amour? What we want is you."_ **(A/N: translation to mon amour - my love) **_The second voice sounded again, then laughter, more voices joined, more hands, more pushing, scratching, and beating. Tears. All he could do was cry, he didn't care if it made him weak or made them realize he was a baby. Who wouldn't cry if they knew they could very well be ended in the next moments and no one could help them. Tamaki decided then and there, that life was just a way to learn of hate and pain. The love he found would always disappear, then and there was when Tamaki Suoh stopped believing in love. _

By this time Kyouya had long snapped out of his spinning trance, at the screams of his friend as he fell into a corner. His eyes were blank and unseeing but open. his mind was clearly no rational and the other came to the conclusion Tamaki had been thrown back into time. The raven haired male sat next to the, currently, fetal positioned blonde. He couldn't touch him, because that he found caused more problems, he couldn't speak to him because that too set the other off into more crying, screaming and a fit of terror it seemed. 'What can I do if I can't help him? What the hell is going to happen to Tamaki?' He asked himself as he sat there in silence next to the other but not touching him. Again he waited for the other to calm down, a lot, before he softly started stroking his hair and whispering sweet nothings in French. It worked more than anything else and main priority was to find something that worked. The floor was cold but Tamaki slowly moved and laid his head on Kyouya's crossed legs so the other decided it was worth it. To be that safety, to be that help and to be the person Tamaki would never lose. That, Kyouya realized, is what he wished for more than anything in the entirety of the world.

And there you have it my fourth chapter, I'm actually midly proud of this one but anyway thanks for reading and following this story for those of you who did. And I haven't said this recently but thanks sooo much to all my reveiwers, one in particular who gives me wonderful suggestions that help me a ton (you know who you are I'm sure), it's great to know people are liking this stuff and for tose of you who don't always like all this dark stuff I am letting you know that I also have anoher account that currently carries three fanfictions I think two of which are not finished and one is a cross over but not elaborate like the ones on here, that account is much lighter and doesn't have a lot of content over the T catagory where this one...well you know I mean for Luci's sake I'm writing for a top notch yaoi pairing here! But ayway yeah. Thanks again for reading and who knows when my next update will be.


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